To the Good Ones

This Sunday my pastor preached on Ephesians 5. He’s relatively new and has been going through Ephesians, so I’ve been looking forward to this sermon as Ephesians 5 is often a good litmus test of orthodoxy and liberalism. At first, he started out with verse 18, which was worrisome as I thought it would lead to that mutual submission nonsense, but nope, he preached standard doctrine: husbands love your wives, wives, submit to your husbands. It went much better than I expected.

He made the standard caveats for not submitting to abuse or sin, but otherwise he preached that women are to submit unreservedly to their husbands. He even made the point that “submitting” by manipulating your husband through sex or fighting is improper. In an almost manosphere-worthy aside, he even stated that the solution to the epidemic of men shirking responsibility to play video games, is not to remove leadership from men, but rather to foster male leadership in the household and to show young men the value of being leaders.

My one main complaint was that he took an overly apologetic tone and I don’t really like when people are apologetic about what the Bible says. But given that he stood firm in the truth, it’s not a big deal.

We often disparage those preachers who talk against Biblical truths in these matters. So, here’s some praise for the good ones. Thank you to all the pastors who teach Biblical truths, even those that may be uncomfortable in our fallen age.

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:18-33, ESV)

7 responses to “To the Good Ones

  • Matt

    Possibly tangential, but why is it always video games which get the hate? Is watching television superior to playing video games? I would think at best they are equal. Is reading books superior? I think the important point is the shirking of responsibility, but too much emphasis is being put on the video games point, such that the impression is given that they are a, or the, specific cause of the problem.

  • 8to12


    It’s a generational thing. Older men see video games merely as fancy children’s toys (which was true in the past, but not any more). Modern video games are more analogous to golf. While (like golf) they can be enjoyed by youths, it is now a hobby that is primarily engaged in by adult males. Just as men used to get together after work or on a weekend for a round of golf, men today get together to play video games. It’s the exact same dynamic.

    Of course, women think of both video games and golf as being childish wastes of time. If we could get across the message that “you think of video games the way women think of golf” maybe we would have a chance to open their eyes.

  • Leap of a Beta

    @ Matt
    I think there’s two reasons for the video games.

    The first is the two most popular types of games are generally the violent shooters and the RPG’s. Violent shooters are violent, and most churches see them as a way of fostering men’s violent tendencies (I would argue that they’re an unhealthy way of expressing frustration with life that leads to sloth rather than masculine action, but that’s me). The other type of games are RPGs – huge time sinks that can range anywhere from questionable morals, sexuality, to characters worshipping Gods. Again, questionable morals (and I would say they fulfill men’s desire for leadership with empty promises).

    Video games are the modern sin of Adam – the shirking of leadership while allowing women to do whatever their rebellious hearts desire. Do I understand why men play them? Absolutely. Do I blame them? Meh, questionably. Does that make playing them for hours right? No, not at all. Do I still play them myself? Yes, currently about 5 hours a week.

  • Cane Caldo


    Possibly tangential, but why is it always video games which get the hate?

    You’re over-thinking this. Video games are hated because a great number of people think they are nerdy; even among those who play them. TV, for whatever reason, is not considered nerdy. We don’t get to pick what others don’t like.

  • Black Poison Soul

    A pastor with balls. Nice to see.

    Women (and many men) don’t get that video games are to men what romcom/sitcoms are to women. Of course, what a woman likes (passive TV that doesn’t engage the brain) is good while what a man likes (games that engage the brain) is bad.

    Bad to women, of course.

  • Free Northerner

    @ Matt: I asked a female friend that once. She said it was because it was a waste of time. I asked her why they accepted TV but not video games, she said because with TV you’re spending time together.

    It’s simple: women don’t like games (usually) and games draw men’s time that they could be spending on women, therefore they’re a waste of time and bad.

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