I was reading this post, An E-mail from a Proud Deadbeat Dad.
Matt is correct that fathers are important and that a man abandoning his child is an awful human being, but, while he does give a cursory out for men who have been kicked out their homes, he is far too accepting of the “women get pregnant and men abandon them myth”.
Matt, in the unlikely event you read this, the women who wish they had a man around are as much requiring of exorciation as men who abandon their children.
What kind of despicable women has children with a man who is not going to be there?
Why are these women not picking out better men to have children with, instead of cads who pump and dump them?
You should ask this question in your next blog.
(I sent him a e-mail asking him this, but in a more polite manner, we’ll see if he has a response).
BW is the product of feminism. “His body, his choice.”
When women can renounce motherhood by destroying their child in the womb, how can society judge a man for renouncing fatherhood?
How is BW any worse a person than the women who has serial abortions?
I came across this comment, by one gastronaut76:
I raise a daughter alone, after her father- who I was engaged to- whose idea it was to have a child, who was so excited to have a baby, who I realized I couldn’t make a life and separated from, slipped out of my daughter’s life, stopped paying child support, and owes me thousands. Your reductionist argument that I’m not only somehow defective because I was in love, believed a man who promised to support me and bore his child, only to be left holding the bag, but also AT FAULT for his actions? I have no words.
This gastronaut is obviously entirely at fault here, yet she seems to blame the man.
She kicks the father of her child out of her house for undisclosed (which likely means immature) reasons and then he’s the deadbeat for not paying child support.
This kind of crooked thinking can only be the result of a complete lack of understanding of what fatherhood is.
Child support is not fatherhood.
Every second weekend is not fatherhood.
Visitation rights are not fatherhood.
A man who has been removed from his own children and his own home can not engage in fatherhood. He can try to father the best he can, and any man that does gets my respect, but there is simply no way a father, no matter how great a man he may be, can fulfill the functions of fatherhood while removed from his children’s lives.
Even soldiers, sacrificing everything and fighting wars on the other side of the world, get home leave to spend quantity and quality time with their families.
A father needs to be there for his children, to spend time with them, to teach them, to discipline them, to love them, to nurture them. A father need quantity time with his children.
Every second weekend, no matter how “quality” it is is not enough.
Fatherhood is not disposable, and child support is not fatherhood.