Today we have another guess post from Daniel on the red pill and your old friends. Remember, we accept guest posts on blog-related content; check our contact page for guidelines. If you have something you want to say, feel free to send it in.
Once in a while you realize how you need to change, how your life sucks and how wrong is everything around you. Then you go looking for something, some way to turn this all around, and you arrive at the manosphere. You find all sorts of useful advice, examples and inspirational tales that help you build the will and courage to finally set foot on the road of change. Unfortunately, they only rarely show you how to deal with the luggage of your previously life. How to deal with friends, memories and all sort of things that will eventually drag you down and back to the very hell you’re trying to escape.
I have currently this problem myself, so I thought I could write some lines about it. First, friends will be your major challenge in becoming an upgraded version of yourself(second only to yourself); not only they are used to the present you, but also will probably think they own you (talk about materialistic idiots who are defined by what they own and own what defines them). If you’re lucky you’ll have one friend with whom you can talk about it, but, generally, talking will just make things harder. So, don’t talk, and refrain from showing any major signs of change in the first moments, they’ll only resent you for that – for challenging their world view, for bringing discomfort to their lives. Look for a more distant group of people who either don’t know you well enough or just haven’t been around that much to care. They will be your training ground. But that is just one minor problem in the whole thing, the major one will be retaining all you’ve learned when you’re with your group of close friends.
As you grow to be a man, you’ll build some habits and lose others. But since (if you are like me) you lived pretty much stuck in the same level for the majority of your life – and shared this time with these friends -, you’ll have very old ingrained habits that are almost impossible to let go. Now, once you are in another place with other people, you will notice – correctly – that these die-hard habits are easier to forget, why does that happens? Well, first, I believe novelty brings forth novelty, that means, as you are with other people in different situations you’ll naturally act different, but, more important, is that your old friends and acquaintances will act so as to maintain the old you in you, hell, just the environment will do it. It’s harder to let old habits die if you are constantly in situations where these same habits first evolved. So, the sad truth is that you may think you’ve overcome your vices, but as soon as you’re brought back to the old setting, you’ll realize that was not the case.
But fear not, not everything is lost. Your new habits are still with you, only the older ones are stronger – if that term applies in this context, but you get it. There is where the will comes in and you, consciously, can choose how to act, and, at first it’ll be difficult, but as you go out, train and come back it will become easier. One day, they’ll be gone for good. Now, some friends may not be threatened by small changes in you – if they see the improvements you’re making and not only agree, but support you, you know what friends to keep -, but as I said, the majority probably will. I would like to say that there is an easy way out, but that is not the case. If they are serious about holding you back, cut them loose, tell them to fuck themselves and forget them. Friends are important, but quality always comes before quantity. And if you see one trying to do the same – improve himself – help him.
That’s it. I know it isn’t much new, as some things have already been said, but I still think they weren’t said enough, and, also, it is a problem more common than thought. It isn’t much, but it is what I learned in my experiences in the last years(some of it is just “get the hell away from where you are” and “do new things”, but I thought I could explain it a little more). I hope it helps somebody, as I once also needed this kind of advice. God be with you all, and, as we say here, Servus.