Financial Analysis of Sex: Relationship vs. Marriage

I previously did an economic comparison of obtaining casual sex through both prostitution and game. I said I would do the cost of sex in marriage and relationship game in the future, so, here it is (much later than I originally anticipated).

The following is a financial analysis of the costs of obtaining sex through a relationship or game. For simplicity’s sake, it ignores the greater economic costs beyond financial and benefits beyond the sexual (both material and immaterial). I will likely analyze these more in the future in their own posts.

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Relationship Game

If you convert game to a relationship, the cost per sexual encounter goes down.

The original 3 sexual encounters would be $460 each (as calculated in the game for casual sex post), but once the initial costs of picking-up a women have been met, converting a short-term fling from game to a relationship can change the costs of sex.

According to Roosh, each date costs about $35. We’ll assume you enjoy dating your partner for its own sake (hence why you’re in a relationship), so there’s no foregone cost. So, assuming each date leads to sex, each sexual encounter in the relationship past the first 3 would cost only $35 each. If you don’t enjoy dating your partner (for whatever reason), then you can add $20/date, if we assume 2 hours per date (at a foregone wage of $10).

We’ll assume a date/sex an average three times a week in a one-month relationship (for a total of 12 times, plus the 3 encounters he had in the fling), and two times a week in a 6-month (for a total of 48 times, plus 3) and 1-year relationship (for a total of 104, plus 3) (The same caveats would apply here as in Game for Sex).

Cost for Sex (1-month relationship): $120

Cost for Sex (6-month relationship): $60

Cost for Sex (1-year relationship): $47

This could, of course, be reduced by paying less for dates, or forgoing dates altogether in favour of less costly activities.

****

Marriage

The average married man gets sex about once per week.

The average length of marriage prior to divorce is 8 years, but 60% of first marriages do not end in divorce. In the case of no divorce, we’ll assume the average marriage lasts 40 years (about 60-75 years old) until the male is either dead or are either incapable of or not desiring sex.

In that case, the average marriage lasts about 27 years.

Over that period, the average male can expect to get sex an average of about 1400 times. (1500 if he had sex in a 1-year relationship prior to marriage as per relationship game above).

The cost of dating and a one-year relationship prior to the marriage are almost $5000 (we’ll assume he enjoyed dating the person he chose to marry). The average cost of a wedding is about $27000.

We’ll also add in the 40% chance of $37,383 loss due to divorce (assuming the man will be the primary, but not sole breadwinner).

Cost for Sex (Marriage): $50 ($46 if you slept together before marriage)

This could of course be significantly reduced by not having a wedding that costs $27,000. It could also be reduced by minimizing chances of divorce. Only 1/5 of marriages have weddings that cost more than $30k, so it’s likely that really extravagant weddings are really pulling the average up, so it shouldn’t be impossible.

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This analysis assumes that your wife will be pulling her own weight in the marriage or relationship and is not being a freeloader. This can be by either earning her keep through paid employment, by raising your children (in which case the costs of supporting her would be added under the costs of raising a child), or providing companionship commiserate with your upkeep of her. If you are in a relationship or marriage with a women and supporting her solely for sex with no other gain for yourself, then the costs of sex would be much higher (but why on earth would you do this?).

This also ignores the many non-material and/or non-sexual benefits, costs, and risks for being in a relationship. This analysis assumes these are overall a wash in relation to material costs and the cost of sex.

I may try to economically analyze these factors more in-depth at another time.

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Conclusion

In the end, the final costs for sex are:

Prostitution: $300
Game: $460
($200 if you enjoy clubbing and game for their own sakes)
Relationship (1 month): $120
Relationship (6 months): $60
Relationship (1 year): $47

Marriage: $50 ($46 if you slept together before marriage)

Overall, a long-term relationship and marriage are, financially-speaking, the cheapest methods of acquiring sex. Prostitution is the most expensive, but game without relationship costs more if you dislike clubbing.


15 responses to “Financial Analysis of Sex: Relationship vs. Marriage

  • Shameful

    But also leave out the other factors such as her looks degrading in marriage. Also leave out alimony/child support in divorce. I think we can leave out children if looking purely at sexual exchange but the long term inpact on pensions for example cant be left out.

    Also i dont think you are doing an apples to apples via the opportunity costs. I see that in relationships but not taken into acount elsewhere. I’m quite certain that the “honey do” list eats up time, having watched married friends.

    My estimation that the best ROI for consistent sex would be spinning multiple plates. Girls will know you are dating around and strangely will be less date demanding. This of course is not a solid basis for a family or civilization, but we are looking at the pure numbers.

  • Sis

    The idea of analyzing the cost of sex in marriage is really funny to me for some reason. Wives won’t be allowed to call prostitutes “cheap” anymore :).

  • AverageMarriedDad

    I did an analysis of frequency of sex in marriage here: http://www.averagemarrieddad.com/?p=493 and came to the same conclusion (1x per week for married men in the “prime” married years. Interesting analysis, plus, you can’t put a price on raising children in a stable environment, even if the factions aren’t entirely happy but not willing to divorce. The book Unexpected Legacy of Divorce (by Wallerstein, Lewis, and Blakeslesly) make this abundantly clear that for children, an intact marriage is priceless.

  • Asafoetida

    I don’t see what constitutes extra expense for dating here — most people nowadays pay for their own repasts and entry fees on a date.

    Likewise the marriage party expense usually is split between the families (iirc), the guests pay for the reception by bringing presents, you buy all the rings, she buys the dress and the couple then pays for their honeymoon. So, it seems a fairly equal waste of money to me 🙂

    Given that women now often out earn males and more females are getting degrees than males, I’m also not sure you can count the divorce costs, also, it’s simply money your family loses. Divorce separates you and your spouse, but it does not end your membership or responsibility to your family until your children come of age.

    If anything, it’s the women who is paying more for the sex in a marriage with an equalist/feminist than the male, given that she is expected to match the man’s financial input, but can usually find reasonable male company for free or even cheaper if she is so inclined.

    If she is wants more bangs for her pounds and prefers to have sex more than once a week, then marriage is certainly not a good choice.

    Ah, brave new world, isn’t it exciting? 🙂

    “(but why on earth would you do this?).”

    Lots of good reasons for that one — if you are not an equalist or a feminist this is a no-brainer..

    Denouncing housewives as freeloaders is also one of the poison pills planted by feminists to make their neutered victims self-police, lest they get thinking freely about patriarchy too much. There is a quite few such dog whistles about that induce automatic and involuntary cringes and severe self-censorship in otherwise quite sensible and daring thinkers. Some concepts are simply verboten to even think about… and no, it’s very unlikely that the scissor in your head that not only paralyses your tongue but also your thought that here is an accident.

  • Free Northerner

    @shameful: I actually did count the financial costs of divorce; you can just click the link where I mention divorce.

    I assumed that in the relationship, the “honey do” would be equaled by other benefits of the relationship, such as when your honey does for you, but as I said, I may look into those closer later.

    @Sis: It’s sort of a nerdy thing to do I know.

    @AMD: That’s a good post. We should strive to be more than “average”.

    @Asafoetida: Dating is included because, at least for the initial few dates, it is often a costly and unpleasant affair for men. Even if you split the cost of a date, the man will still be paying for his own.

    The divorce costs should be included because most houses still ahve the man as the primary provider. In my post on divorce costs, I give more in-depth analysis.

    In a marriage, the man is still, usually expected to provide the most, and does in most cases.

    I didn’t say housewives were freeloader, in fact I specifically mentioned that they were not. But if the wife is stays home, but is not doing her duty as a housewife in raising children, then I see no reason why you would even consider getting into that kind of relationship.

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  • Dan

    Numbers based on assumptions lead to results that are inaccurate and
    irrelevant. One of the poorest assumptions is that married men only get
    sex once a week. Many of us get some FAR more often than players.
    I’m 55, the wife and I have been together for 27 years….. I drilled and filled
    her pie 4 times in the past week. There are days when I still nail her twice
    in one day….and that’s at MY age. If you have hand you can have a happy
    horny lady who will give you what you want when you want it. My missus
    is 57, could pass for mid 40’s has a 38DD rack wears size 8 jeans and is
    a blond blue eyed beach babe……..and makes $75K a year. ( I make more of course). Don’t settle for leftovers. Don’t settle period. Be a
    man and you can find a woman…. a real woman.

  • Free Northerner

    Married men getting sex once a week was not an assumption. I provided a link to where Audacious Epigone calculated the average married man has sex once a week from GSS data.
    http://anepigone.blogspot.ca/2009/09/married-men-get-it-once-week-on-average.html

    Although, you’re right, married men do get (slightly) more sex on average than players according to the same analysis.

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  • db

    How about sugardaddy/sugarbaby situations? I have a go-to girl and we hookup about twice a month. I’m 44, she’s 25. I’m white and she’s black. We’ve been sex partners for almost 10 years (We met on a phone dating line for 18 and over and she apparently got past the screeners… but 16 is legal in my state). She had three kids during our decade of “friendship” but none were mine. I always loved it because if she was pregnant when we’d meet up, it meant I could go raw and finish inside her. Then about two or three years ago, she decided to get her tubes tied, which has been pretty great. She stays over night sometimes or for 5 or 6 hours when she has to get home for the kids or to go to work. We usually have sex twice during each visit (so that’s pretty much 4 times a month) and I slip her about $100 before she goes home ($200 a month). I think it’s about the best possible setup I could have. I don’t want to live with anybody and I’ve seen how marriages usually turn sour. Also, I don’t really like going out and wasting all sorts of time and money with no guarantee of getting what I want. EVERY single time my sugarbaby has visited, we’ve engaged in coitus. Oh yeah, she has a “snapper”, meaning she can squeeze her feminine region around my manhood at will, in a wonderful pulsating fashion. I hope we can keep this going for at least another decade.

  • Free Northerner

    I’m not sure. I don’t think a useful average could be calculated with any accuracy. From what I understand those types of relationships vary quite a lot, from something like yours to other where a rich man basically pays for the sugarbaby’s education but doesn’t get any sex.

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